Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
