OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
