so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
