I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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