Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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