I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I can't turn off my feet"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
