If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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