Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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