Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
