Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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