You smell like stripper and shame
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
