The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
