obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
