He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
