Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
