do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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