It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
