How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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