He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Randomize
