so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
