well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
