how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
