I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
