OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
id be glad to
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
