But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You left your phone here
Wait...
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