i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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