It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
