I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
