its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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