Whod you bang
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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