why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
