I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
vagina is talking i cant
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
