Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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