I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
