your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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