just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The Olympian is in my bed
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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