It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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