we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
