just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
