I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
