All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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