Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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