Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
