Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
