are you so shy because you have an std?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
