You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
