Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
