I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
