So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
