didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
