Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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