everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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