What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
