Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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