Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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